Oops Halloween

I’m sorry to say I missed posting here for Halloween and missed pretty much every SL Halloween thing. Although, it’s ok, I did have a rock on time in RL which kept me preoccupied, dressing up for a couple of Halloween parties and events, even a Halloween dog show, which was completely bizarre.

The competitions at the Show were, unsurprisingly all for dogs and some of the categories included 'Lovely Vampires', being the prettiest female dog, 'Dapper Druid', the most handsome dog, 'Fangtastic Fancy Dress', 'Jed-eyes', the most appealing dog that a judge would describe as a ‘take home’ dog, the 'Gruesome Twosome' where both dog and owner are judged, 'Hubble-Bubble (I get into trouble dog)' which is obviously the naughtiest dog, 'Trick or Treat' for the best, you guessed it, trick, 'Waviest Wand' for the best waggle tail and 'Perfect Pumpkins' for puppies up to 12 months old. Yes, it was weird and hysterically funny.

I don’t have a dog but my friend does so I went with her, and we both went with her dog who was obviously dead keen on going.

So, I feel I owe you, and my SL blog, to include a suitably Halloweeny picture which I’ve included here, ta-daa!

I know this isn’t a very SL-content-rich blog this time so hopefully my next one will be, that is when I find time to have enough time in SL. But rest assured, I will, for sure, in the build up to Christmas which now that Halloween is over I could say starts . . . . . . now! Ho-ho-ho.

~Anan~~~

full to bursting

From the simple days of 2009...

 

What are we like! Inventories, we all have them, like nipples, except with those we are limited to just two, and even though we’re limited to a single inventory, there seems no limit on contents.

SL inventory’s are prone to going awry, as in, becoming full to bursting, like mine is right now. Luckily nipples don’t go awry, or at least mine haven’t yet anyway.

My inventory has just over 35,000 items in it, which to me is a HUGE number, and a HUGE number of stuff, and as I call my inventory my wardrobe, some days I’m terrified of opening it lest I get buried in an avalanche of stuff Mostly clothing, probably unsurprising, clothing of one kind of anything, mesh clothing of course, as is the thing these days, but I’ve also kept quite a few prim bits and bobs and outfits, even though I never wear them now.

I can’t seem to bring myself to abandon them, as it seems the only way to remove them is to basically bin them. Which is a shame and wasteful. In RL I’d be taking them to a clothing bank or charity shop, but here, everything pretty much has been made non-transferable so even if I wanted to give them away, I couldn’t. This I think is a huge mistake people have made over the years. Why shouldn’t we be able to pass them on? I understand perhaps not reselling them, perhaps, but simply passing them on to someone who might want them seems a more user-friendly way of dealing with unwanted clothes and other stuff.

And I do have plenty of other stuff too, as I used to do a lot of building I have loads of building materials, and furniture too, some of which admittedly I’ve never used, some used only once, some often but probably won’t use again. But, I never know, maybe I might.

Prim, sculpt and mesh, all making a trawl through my inventory quite a challenge. Fortunately I have over the years had the foresight to at least to some degree order things into folders and sub-folders, and even in some cases rename items, though this hasn’t been the case with everything. Some stuff is simply listed alphabetically, a list growing ever-longer, stretching into an infinite nowhere.

Perhaps 35,000 isn’t so huge to some people but to me I am constantly frustrated at myself for my inability to part with stuff I’ve spent years accumulating. But I have too, cos it is driving me bonkers. I want to rationalize, downsize, though not my height as I’m already quite small, in RL and SL. Not of the SL version of what they call ‘Petites’, as in tiny avatars more the size of fairies in the bottom of your garden kind of size, just small as in human and avatar terms.

I keep having clear-outs, spring cleans, even when it isn’t spring, but then I find I’ve acquired yet more stuff, mostly I should say, freebies, or winning stuff, lucky chairs, or incredibly cheap being that I’ve not much in the way of lindens, and rely on meagre sales of my artwork, which is most definitely meagre.

I’m due another wardrobe blitz and will get around to it, eventually, perhaps this will prompt me to do so. Or maybe it might not.

 .... to the full to bursting days of 2023

© Anan Eebus 

 

 

Me here now

It has been so long since that first day I found myself here, in Second Life, unsure of myself, not even knowing why I was here at all.

It was a radio program I heard way back on 2008 where SL was mentioned in glowing terms as being “the next big thing” in virtual reality since when it was launched back in June 2003, about five and half years before I discovered its delights. Not sure if I did so out of curiosity or maybe even boredom, although I hardly ever, if ever, get bored, but I was going through a rocky period in my life so if I’m honest, that was probably an impetus, an escape from the real sometimes seemed a good idea at the time.

Apparently, by 2013, SL had over one million users of which I was one, and still am, and now this year, in fact this month on the 23^rd it’ll have reached its 20^th anniversary. Nowadays its user-numbers bobble around 800,000 to 900,000, so they say, though how many of those are active, as in log in at least once a month of not more frequently, is hard to say. I know for a fact there are numerous dead accounts, avatars that still exist ‘on paper’, so to speak, or inworld, but are no longer accessed by their real world selves; effectively abandoned. People move on and don’t bother or remember to actually delete their inworld avis (avatars), simply walk away or even lost their password and rather than faff about trying to find it again they make a new avatar, while some people seem to drop in once a year maybe for whatever reason.

Whatever, many I think, we can become quite attached to our avatars, our inworld selves. The longer we’re inworld with our inworld persona the harder it can be to just erase it from existence. The thought of doing so might elicit feelings of grief, the idea of maybe losing a part of yourself, this you that is you while at the same time isn’t. It’s a weird psychology and potentially a huge personal dilemma.

Now, I know of some who make avatars and throw them away regularly, never get attached, move on, and seem to have no problem with that approach. Personally, I’d find that impossible. Is it healthy to become so attached to something that’s on the face of it little more than pixels, ones and zeroes? I don’t know.

I was SL born on the 8^th February, 2008 which makes me, as I’m writing this blog, 15 years and 4 months of age, a total of 5603 days since I first ever logged into this alternative world created, founded, invented, whatever, by Philip Rosedale. It feels kind of like time in a bottle. Even though for now I seem to do less inworld I’m in no rush to leave, it’s still a part of me.

I remember how I felt when another virtual world, Inworldz, actually closed down completely, and quite suddenly, so much so most of us had little or no time to properly finalise our affairs there or even say goodbye to our inworld selves, many actually lost real money. As with SL I’d invested quite a lot of myself, not so much financially but emotionally, and as such felt, in a way, grief-stricken. I know some people might think it potty to be like this, but it’s no different from anything you put a lot of yourself into to have taken away.

These places can get under your skin, you have to be careful sometimes to get the balance right, which as I’ve said in previous blogs I’d got wrong numerous times, but I think finally I’ve found a kind of equilibrium, for now anyway.

Then again, I seem to keep changing my mind on this, some days I want to get more involved again, others am happy to keep connected but also a distance. Either way, RL rules! For all it being stressful and not being able to fly unaided, like you can in SL.

© Anan Eebus 

how long is time

Wow, four months into the year and I haven’t posted a thing here, I am getting lazy, or maybe priorities being what they are mean these days my RL most definitely takes precedence.

When I have been on SL, and I still manage to log in at least once a day, even if only briefly, I’ve been mostly exploring, still hungry to discover the new, the old, the unusual, the surprising. Still, the weirdest thing these days is how quiet it feels. I don’t know how many active players there are now compared to when I was way more involved here, say before 4 years ago, since when I for one have certainly scaled way back, mostly because RL is way more busy and important, and of course obviously I’m older, priorities change.

Another reason I chose to shuffle off much of my responsibilities here is because they were beginning to cause me serious anxiety, so much so the only solutions were to, in a word, downsize, or leave. Well, I wasn’t going to leave having invested so much emotionally and time-wise into me in SL so that left me with taking my foot of the SL pedal car.

Generally, it feels so much better, psychologically for certain, my mental well-being has improved a lot since I have. But then, I had reached a breaking point having taken on far more than little old me could basically cope with. I pride myself on being able to multitask and being able to deal with most situations but back then I was totally losing the plot having falling into one responsibility after another because simply I didn’t want to let anyone down.

So, before I completely lost my fragmented mind I decided enough was enough. Nevertheless, I still miss those days when there was always something happening, when there felt like there was more of a community, especially in my vampire clan. Yes, if you didn’t already know from reading my previous blogs, I am a vampire, among other things. Those were amazing times and at least I took loads of photos back then, and still do, so have lots of memories to look back on.

Gosh, all this makes me sound and feel soooooooooooo old. I’m not by the way.

But all in all my RL is pretty happy, all things considered, so I don’t feel the same need or pull to always run away into SL, which sometimes is what I used to do. I’m not sure what use sharing any of this is but maybe it helps me. I mean, I have no idea even how many read my blog or even know it’s here.

Well, apologies again to anyone who cares that it’s taken four months to get around to posting what is effectively my first writing here of 2023. Crazy, isn’t it.

~Anan Eebus ©2023