backwards forwards

 

I am back! Although I’ve not been away, not as such, just haven’t got around to posting anything here for ever-so-so-so-so long, and that’s a long time.

Nor have I been away from Second Life either, logging in almost daily, but you know how RL can be: all-consuming. SL used to be all-consuming, years ago, when I let it become so which turned out to be such a bad idea. A bad idea because eventually it started leaking into my real life, into my daily waking thoughts, into my dreams, feeding me worry after worry. 

Basically, I took too much on, which, with hindsight, was a truly crazy and totally defeated the whole reason for joining SL in the first place, as a relief from the stresses and strains of the real world, a place where I could just hang out, chill, mooch, and do whatever else took my fancy, especially things I probably wouldn’t dare too for real. I will leave that to your imagination as to what those are.

But that’s all done and dusted and water under the bridge and all that. I managed over time to free myself of those responsibilities which had become no better than shackles. Every now and then since some people have tried to drag me back there but luckily I’ve learned my lesson, once bitten, twice, or even thrice, shy.

Nowadays I spend lots of time exploring, I even recently did a photo project called “Window Shopping”, which basically was photos of me by different window displays, which I wrote about in a earlier blog a while back. It was actually quite tricky because even though there are some good one, such things aren’t that common in SL. Many shops have no outsides, or they are just anonymous buildings with all the creative effort going on inside and with little except for the name on the outside. Nevertheless, I did manage to find a few and sometime I might revisit the project, see if I can find new and even better ones.
Currently my exploration interests are of a kind I haven’t done for years and tend towards things of an ‘adult’ nature. 

In my early days here, and by the way, I have been in SL over 17 years (phew!), I’d been tempted to such places but over time got a bit bored of them. Now, things have changed a bit, more than a bit actually. The interactivity has become more imaginative, and sophisticated, if that’s not too over-the-top word for them, and the people I meet generally more interesting. Well, regarding the latter , mostly interesting, some are still kinda vacuous and lacking. 

But I’ve been meeting some really fascinating people and enjoyed their company in lots of interesting and unexpected ways. I have long found it hard to resist my deeper nature, or maybe my darker nature, and SL gives me a chance to express that part of me. So, why not go for it! All in the name of pleasure and more pleasure, and more pleasure, and more…….

© Anan Eebus 

 

 

be fangful

 

Seems it’s been a while since my last confession, but, in my defence I am a vampire and not known for contrition nor actually confessing. Well, not in the sense where it’s supposed to come with some remorse. I mean, why would I, a vampire, feel remorseful after half-draining someone of their blood? I always leave them alive, if not a teeny bit disorientated for a while.

That’s the nature of vampires, after all we aren’t supposed to have souls, which is why they say we have no reflection, suggesting that our reflection is like a manifestation of our souls and without a soul you can’t have a reflection in mirrors, or widows, or water or highly-polished brass or silver or whatever. Basically, it would make it a nightmare putting on one’s own makeup or doing one’s own hair. The way around it of course is to get someone else to do it, not always easy when you all live in shadows and so many are too busy biting people and enjoying afterlife to the full. Yes, there is such a thing as an afterlife, see, I’m living, sort of breathing and albeit undead, proof. The breathing we do is mostly for show, we don’t actually need to breathe, being vampires and all, which is really useful for swimming.

Oh, and by the way, all that nonsense about reflections, it’s just that, nonsense. We have one that’s just as visible as yours, but we do have a trick up our sleeve. We can make it vanish when we need too. It’s a party-trick really and all the better for sneaking up on people. The soul isn’t in our reflections anyway, nor is the reflection our soul. It’s in our shadow. That’s one of the reasons why daylight is anathema to many vampires. I say many meaning not all, because some of us are elders and have worked out how to be daywalkers. Sneaky, huh! No, of course I’m not going to tell you how we do it, what do you take me for? If you knew you’d only do something silly like try and come up with a plan to prevent it. Where’s the fun in that for me?

I can do all the things, pretty much, that you can do, and more. More, because becoming a vampire opens you up and taps into parts of you that may be dormant or lain hidden for centuries, abilities and such. It does also heighten everything for us, like strength, speed and such things, but also emotions and temperament, all of which become more deeply felt and as such we spend years learning to control and live with it. Like the obvious, our hunger. It’s crazy and never-sated completely but we teach ourselves not to get too greedy and accidentally kill off our food supply, i.e. you.

There’s more to us than meets the fang, and don’t believe all the stories which are exactly what they are stories, myths, fairy tales. But, remember, some of them are true so beware, beware, there’s bound to be a vampire out there somewhere and you are likely to pass them on the street or sit at the next table in a café and never ever know. We are cunning you see.

© Anan Eebus

 

 

 

winterlines

           I love winter. 
            It’s the darkness, the long dark nights when I can hide, not be seen, pretend the rest of the world is far, far, far away or maybe doesn’t exist at all. In its absence it offers so much, it’s an absence of light but a presence of temptations that dare not come out during the day for being ostracized or bullied.
            A time when shadows are no longer distinguishable from not-shadows, when there are merged or swallowed up by the all-encompassing, as I feel I am when night comes in tracking across my skin, darkening me, reshaping me, remaking me. Every night I feel I’m being rearranged and during the winter there’s longer time for this indulgence to be indulged.
            The sun’s very lethargic during winter, almost to the point of ailing.  Or is it saving it’s energy for longer days?  Even the sun needs a rest after all the work it’s done during the spring, summer and to some extent even autumn, it has to take its toll a little bit and leave it feeling more than a little weary, weather-worn, ragged around the edges.  Hence winter, a time for it to take the time for itself leaving us to our own devices largely, leaving us to face the dark for longer and longer, encouraging us not to ignore that side, the darker side, our negative.  Colourless it may seem but rich in shades and subtlety that light can only dream of and rest on its laurels of spectrum overload to make up for what it lacks in tone.
            The winter embraces, draws me in with offering and often comes through with its tantalizing treats.  Moods are different in the winter. They become secretive, some become agitated, some tetchy, but others become reflective as though looking into the pitch dark lets is see so much more than the exposed glare of a midsummer’s day.
            Others abound also during this time. The normally hidden, forgotten, ignored, rejected, things discarded as myth, as imaginings, hallucinations.  These things exist but need the right conditions to feed and thrive, conditions that winter offers in abundance.  An uneasy balance is struck between unlikely alliances during these forbidden, and for some forbidding, months, the world beyond, or even worlds beyond, are never very far away and the fabric between so thin that merely brushing against it could cause a tear through whose frayed edges nocturnal natures may seep.
             I love the winter, precariously-balanced on the edge of the year.
  © Anan Eebus (16th January 2018)